Serving the Princess

by Robert Wyatt


Once upon a time there was the kingdom of pink, where everything was pink. There was a beautiful princess who everyone obeyed. Her name was amber. One day she was extremely bored so she offered a huge reward for whoever could provide the most entertainment for her.
The next day people came from all over to do their best to entertain the princess. The first was a boy of 14 years with strikingly blue hair.

"Please state your name and what you will be doing", stated the princess.
"My name is Terry and for my performance I will be doing...Animals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The boy had spotted the 2 royal pets, Dammit the Frog and George the Pigeon. Upon noticing them he immediately lost all sense of what he was doing and ran towards them. He pulled them together, climbed on top, and begun humping them as hurriedly as possible. Enraged by the boy's actions the princess arose from her throne and walked toward him. She withdrew her magical pink moon wand and blasted off his nuts, then dick, then head killing him. She then returned to her throne waving in the next entertainer.

A short blonde haired girl came in with glasses and many piercings, but before she could even state her name she screamed "A dead body!!! Nummy!!!" She ran over to where terry's body lay and began to rip pieces of flesh off and devouring them.

"Absolutely disgraceful!" shouted the princess and she gave the command for the guards to execute her. "Next!" She screamed infuriated by how savagely this was going.

The next person came in. She was tall with brown hair and greenish brown eyes. She stated that her name was Dana and she was going to explain exactly how Godly Kurt Cobain is.

"Who is Kurt Cobain?" asked Amber.

"The vocalist and song writer of Nirvana..."

"What's Nirvana?"

"A band..."

"Like a rubber band?"

"No, like a song band. Kurt was..."

"What kind of music do they play?"

"Kurt was the greatest..."

"Don't ignore me!!!!" shouted Amber.

"You know what...you're too dumb and stupid. You suck. Fuck you I'm going to MY Rikki's house." And with that she left. Not to disappoint Amber any further the next performer came in followed by two men, an elephant, and an orangutan.

"Hello your majesty my name is Abbi aka Tromboner and my entertainment will be a great experiment followed by music." First off she put the one wearing chains and "gear" next to the elephant and the larger more odd looking one next to the orangutan. She then pulled Terry's corpse next to the frog and the cannibal girl's next to the pigeon both of which animals were still twitching. She then handed each a trombone and poured a solution all of them. They instantly combined with their animal except the half human half animals and extremely long noses. "My creation!!! Genetically altered humanimals who can play the trombone with their nose!" They then began to go into Zoot Suit Riot.

Just as soon as they started playing though the music slowly dwindled down till only Abbi was still playing. Standing there was a short red/orange/blonde haired girl in a red and black gothic dress holding a butcher's cleaver. She then raised it and cut every limb from Abbi's body. Everyone started screaming and running around while the girl happily cut people up getting a large collection of severed limbs. "My name's Veronica, bitch, and for my performance I will be sending many people to hell" and with that she cut the princess's head off and stole the money. There was too much confusion for anyone to do anything so eventually she killed everyone off.